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Switch … Andy Lau hits a new low

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  • Bad editing makes this HK film a narrative mess
    It’s the worst HK film I’ve seen

SWITCH was made to position Hong Kong’s Andy Lau as a supercop à la James Bond who crisscrosses the world to solve crimes. But in the hands of director Jay Sun, this Cantonese thriller can’t even get off the starting block.

   Viewers can attribute the film’s most woeful problem, its editing, to Du Hengtao. It’s so haphazardly done that viewers can’t make head or tail of the film.

   I started yawning halfway through the film and I thought: it’s as bad as Malaysian films, especially KIL.

   I had to look up the film’s plot on the Internet as there was no flow in the narrative. It jumps all over the place and leaves viewers feeling jerked about. 

Andy Lau wants to put viewers out of their misery.

   And because it’s so hasty in its editing, the film doesn’t allow viewers to bond with Lau or anyone else.

   All I learnt about Lau’s character, Xiao Jinhan, is that he drives a SUV with a satellite dish on top of it. He also likes to flex his naked torso and he enjoys playing with a computer screen similar to that in Tom Cruise’s Minority Report.

   As for the two women, one who plays Xiao’s wife, Yuyan (Zhang Jingchu), and another a cop/lover of a Japanese gangster, the sooner they’re forgotten, the better it is for everyone. After awhile, the two women become indistinguishable from one another.

   Talking about women, the director reveals his love of weird and kinky scenes.

    He gets a few women to feather massage half-naked peroxide gangster Yamamoto (Tong Dawei) while a woman sways in a trapeze above him.

Say another bad word about my film and I’ll come after you.

In another scene, Yamamoto expresses his love of body language when he tattoos the back of a partially naked woman.

   In another unusual scene, the gangster’s four women dress up in tight clothes and rollerblade into a hotel to steal a painting.

   The actor who plays Yamamoto has skin so smooth that he’ll be the envy of women. Unfortunately, his grasp of English lets him down and only confuses viewers even more.

    The plot, I think, is about a famous Chinese painting that was ripped apart into two halves: one is kept in China and the other in Taiwan. Yamamoto wants one part but some nosy Brits beat him to it.

   In comes Xiao with orders to bring the parts together for a ceremony. 

  His wife, Yuyan, works for an insurance company that’s tasked with guarding the painting in China.

I’ve no idea who she is.

   Her company doesn’t believe in lasers, but it does believe in using microwaves to guard the painting. It’s hot enough for her to make popcorn. She forgot to add butter, though.

   Naturally, the cops disregard her advice and move it out of the museum to a safehouse.

   But a bunch of women in wedding gowns waylays the convoy, and there’s a white man on a jetski grabbing the painting and there’s a whole mess that viewers won’t understand.

   It’s no use explaining this film as I’m completely befuddled by it.

   Why does the empress (Siqin Gaowa) use her dead husband’s ashes in a sand clock? Why do four babes on skates kill four bodyguards? Why does Andy Lau pretend to be dead and hide out in the countryside? Why does he do a Mission Impossible and dons, of all things, a women’s mask?

  So many questions and so few answers. 
 0 out of 5

What do you think? Please share your thoughts.


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